I’ll go, send me

Life is unexpected. Something the Lord has taught me in the past few years is the only thing that is certain is Him. Everytime I start to see a plan go the way I expected, it seems to completely change to something a little less comfortable. But that’s kind of the beauty of life. That’s the beauty of the Lord. It allows us to put our full faith in Him. He is steadfast. His character does not change. This life is fleeting, but He is eternal. How sweet. In my three months on the race, he’s taught me to hold everything with my hands wide open. Hold my expectations, my plans, and my dreams with palms up. Not that he doesn’t want to meet the desire of our hearts, it just typically looks a little different than we imagine.

With all of that said, the race definitely does not look how I imagined it when I applied 16 months ago. I thought I was signing up for 9 months of travel, adventure, and diving deeper into intimacy with the Father. 6 months in Africa, 3 months in Asia, and 2 weeks in Georgia during the summer. I was right about a few things – It is an adventure, but not in the way I imagined. I am diving deeper into intimacy with the Father. I’ve learned things I didn’t even know I needed to know. I’ve seen parts of Abba that I didn’t know existed. I’ve gotten to travel to Georgia and Louisiana. In January i’ll be traveling to Costa Rica to do ministry, with the hope of going to at least one more country. Is this what I signed up for? No. But the Lord knew that if I would have known I’d live in Georgia for three months and then only go to Costa Rica, I wouldn’t have done it. This is where He had me all along. This is where He was leading me since that day I decided I was gonna do this thing. All He was looking for was a willingness to say yes. To say “I’ll go, send me”. 

This week we got news we wouldn’t be going back to Georgia in December due to a COVID outbreak on our squad (everyone is fine!!:)). That means 6 weeks apart from these people that I was already having a hard time saying “see ya later” to for 10 days. This means doing all of our training on zoom, something we’re all too familiar with by this point. 6 more weeks with our families. In my case, 6 more weeks with my family is so sweet. That means more time with my newborn nephew and plenty of time with the crazy people that I love and get the privilege of being related to. But it’s bittersweet, my squad has also become a part of my family. So many brothers and sisters that I love so dearly. Spending 24/7 with 40 other people, then suddenly being by myself all the time. As sweet as this time with my family is, it’s also hard that I won’t be with my other family for longer than we all imagined. 

When i got this news my first reaction was to be mad at God. Why does He always let things change? Why can’t anything ever go to plan. That’s when He reminded me that it’s because it’s all my plan. It’s me holding onto things and putting my expectancy into the world. He is steadfast. He is good. He has a purpose for every season. Even if it means this short one is staying home. He reminded me that I won’t always be living in the community that I am now and it’s important that I still consistently choose Him in every moment. A really easy thing to do when the 40 people around you are doing the same thing, but it becomes a little harder when i’m alone and I have to choose into that. What  great learning season. 

Something else that the Lord has taught me since being on the race, is every person is a ministry opportunity. I don’t have to wait until I’m in some other country across the world. But I can buy into people and relationships now. So Thank you Father for giving me this time to love on people in my community at home. Give me a hunger for your word everyday. Allow me to choose you at each moment. Teach me something new about you in these next 6 weeks. Allow me to walk in a posture that allows my hands to be open. Let me not hold onto anything except your goodness and love. Thanks God for this sweet, sweet, life with you! 

Love, 

Sydney<3

P.s. I’m still fundraising! By the grace of God I met my last fundraising deadline, but I still have $3,800 to raise before I am fully funded. I’m trusting that the Lord will provide in it. If you feel a tug on your heart to join me in this journey, you can first pray. Pray about how the Lord wants you to come alongside me. Maybe It’s simply through prayer and sharing my blogs! Or maybe you feel led to give financially. Whatever it is I appreciate you so much and the fact that you took time to read what the Lord is doing in my life!