This is Me// part one

This is me. Sydney. Real and raw. Who am I to the core? What thoughts flood my brain? Here’s a little inside scoop. If we really want to make this a little dramatic play ‘Flowers in your hair’ by the Lumineers in the background as you’re reading this. It has nothing to do with the blog… it’s just a good song, and I like when flowers are in my hair!:)

Hey, I am Sydney, and I’ve learned over time that I am who He says I am. Not anybody else. Not even who I might say I am. I’ve called myself unworthy, not enough, and no good. But He has called me the opposite. Because I now know Him, I know myself. I am a daughter. I am an inheritor of the Kingdom. I am a key holder. I am loved. I am more than enough. I am very very good. I make my Father proud. I am a worshipper. I was made for great things.

I think my favorite thing about this Earth is the beauty in His creation. I constantly stand in awe of what the Creator has made. I found myself above the clouds on top of a mountain the other day, looking out remembering how small I am compared to all that the Lord has made. That thought used to scare me. To think that I am just a small speck in all that Abba has created. But now that thought excites me!! How absolutely amazing is it that the Father created all these giant things that swarm the Earth, yet still chooses to know and love me deeply?! Makes me want to shout, and dance, and just rejoice in all that the Father is! 

So yes. I love creation. I love knowing that God made these things for us. To have a constant reminder that He is still working. As long as the trees are dancing, the waves are crashing, and the sun is rising. I love being in the middle of the woods and knowing that the mark of the Father is all around me. I love staring out at the ocean that never seems to end, but knowing there is more creation out there. There is life in the water. The father is moving where we don’t see Him. 

I love music. I love the fact that strings on a piece of wood can be used to sing songs back to the Creator. That a bunch of vibrations can be used to say a simple thank you. I love that we can dance to music. That we get to express our emotions in a way that words never could. Whether it’s used to express joy, or love, or even pain. 

Isn’t it crazy that Jesus felt pain? He felt sorrow. He wept. So many times in my life I’ve got the impression that pain and sorrow is a sign of weakness. Yet, Jesus showed us that it’s actually strength. He showed us that it’s okay. That we don’t have to apologize. 

I’m aware this blog is a little all over the place. I’m aware my grammar isn’t technically correct. Welcome to my brain. Welcome to my thoughts. Welcome to the raw. Welcome to real life.

I am a little messy sometimes. My brain is all over the place all the time. I think a lot, a little too much. I tend to think so long about what I’m going to say, that the moment to say it passes. I get worried about how others perceive me sometimes. But, I’m learning what it really means to be without fear of man. It’s just taking a while to get it from my head to my heart, but hey that’s okay! I hate surface level conversation. I feel like it’s a waste of time. I think people are really cool, and I want to get all the deep things out of them. I want to love people really hard. I want to bring Kingdom down to Earth. I want others to know they’re worthy. I want people to experience how deep love can be. 

In this season I see God as a Father more than anything. I find a lot of rest and comfort in Him. I get this image alot of me laying back against Jesus as He’s sitting in His throne, and I’m just sitting there and taking a deep breath. It really helps when I’m feeling overwhelmed by the world around me, or how quickly my thoughts are moving. How kind is it that He just lets us lean back against Him and breath? He is a place of rest. 

The Lord is teaching me to rely on His strength and not my own. He’s showing me how to sit in the waiting room well. I’m learning that I don’t need everything figured out. I’m learning that sometimes God gives us more than one option. I’m finding excitement in dreaming with the Father. I’m learning how to walk out my identity in the real world, and not just in my secret space with the Lord. 

So yes this is me. Far from perfect, yet still so loved. So seen. More than enough. Worthy of all the Abba has for me. 

Who does He say you are?